


takes one to know one

by seeyaloki



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Trailer, M/M, Not Happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 20:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14004291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seeyaloki/pseuds/seeyaloki
Summary: Bucky knows, better than anyone, that Steve has to. That it’s what he does. That it’s what he has always done.





	takes one to know one

**Author's Note:**

> This happened when i watched the trailer and put the shots of Steve fighting Thanos and Bucky running towards something together. Sorry not sorry.

It ends, ironically enough, in the exact same way it started. Faces he doesn’t know, beaten bloody. Faces he does know, twisted in fear. The groans and screams of combat, the dull sounds of bullets hitting flesh. It’s familiar, and oddly enough, it almost feels right that he gets to do this one more time. It ends like how it was always going to end, like how it was meant to, like how he knew it would.

 

After all this time, it ends in a war.

 

***

He didn’t know Wakanda that well in the first place, but it’s unrecognizable now. The peaceful forest turned into a battlefield, spears dropped to the ground alongside the warriors who wielded them till their last breath. They fight braver than anyone could’ve possibly asked of them but when he looks at T’Challa, how he gives orders, how he _cares_ it’s not at all surprising that these men and women would give their lives for the home they love and the leader they believe in.

 

Steve isn’t much of a leader now. He doesn’t know where half of his team is, they might be dead for all he knows and he feels a sick twist in his stomach. A helicarrier, ages ago, trading cards on a glass table and _we are not soldiers!_ He doesn’t know where Tony is now either, hasn’t known for a long time, too long. But he would tell him if he could, you were right, no, we are not soldiers. He looks around, bodies on the ground, even in the afterlife being protected by their comrades that still stand because that’s what honor really looks alike.

 

There’s blood on his hands and his Avengers are scattered. They were never soldiers. He should’ve known, all this time, that they’re hardly anything at all anymore.

 

***

Thanos steps out of a portal, far enough away that Steve stays hidden behind trees and leaves. The gauntlet is on his hand, two gems shining brighter than they have any right to. He looks around, almost sniffs the air and steps over bodies like they’re things and he smiles doing it. The bastard fucking _smiles_ and it sparks a rage in him that he has never felt before.

 

Steve knows though, that this is a battle only he gets to fight. He has asked too much from everyone else already, but he won’t ask this. It’s like steal determination in his heart, if he’s doing this, he’s doing it by himself. And it must show on his face because he hears a sigh, exasperated, one that brings him a strange comfort. Bucky is by side, _finally, again_ , on his left where he has always belonged.

 

“Steve. Don’t.”

 

It sounds like something he’s heard before. Steve can imagine the grimy streets of Brooklyn, Bucky warning him to stay out of conflicts because he knew Steve would get his ass handed to him if he got involved. But then Bucky never really stopped him either, did he. Bucky was smart, is smart. He knew well enough that trying to stop Steve would be useless. Bucky knew the only way to get Steve out of a fight was to get in there himself, kicking and screaming and _you’re a damned idiot, Rogers_ but spilling blood along the way and doing it for him.

 

Bucky was the savior, the reasonable one. Steve was reckless. Steve was the one who went looking for war. But this time, almost eighty years later, war has come looking for them. And through some odd twist of fate Bucky is still here, still by his side. Different but also not, like he never left at all but just.. _changed_. And Bucky still says it to him. Steve. Don’t. But when Steve takes a look at him he recognizes what he sees there. Inevitability. The words are empty, he’s not even trying. Bucky knows, better than anyone, that Steve has to. That it’s what he does. That it’s what he has always done.

 

Bucky mutters something under his breath, something that sounds suspiciously like _punk_ and it makes Steve’s heart jump in his chest. Next to the fear and the nerves he gets when he sees the Mad Titan look around at the nature of Wakanda surrounding him, he feels the relief that he gets to have Bucky there with him. And maybe it’s selfish of him, considering the roads Bucky was forced to take over the years to get here, to be glad for the sight and sound of a cocked machine gun. He always had his back, every single time but it’s still Steve’s job, to pick himself up and to fight so the people he’s supposed to protect don’t have to.

 

“It’s who I am, Buck.”

 

Bucky scoffs and punches him in the shoulder. He uses a vibranium fist and he doesn’t hit as hard as he could, but it’s still a good thing to see him use the arm like it’s actually a part of him instead of something he only turns to when someone’s giving him no other choice.

 

“That doesn’t mean I have to like it, idiot.”

 

And it sounds so much like _Sergeant_ _Barnes_ , in the trenches in cold European weather, Bucky angry at Steve for running into a collapsing building to save HYDRA intel. Steve who tells him he’s not as breakable anymore, and Bucky’s breath coming out in cold white puffs of smoke, rage but also relief clear in his eyes: _that doesn’t mean I have to like it, Rogers_ and they’re not those people anymore, not even close, but it’s nice to know that they still remember what it was _like_ to be them.

 

That alone is why Steve has to go, has to go face this otherworldly being and do it himself. Wakanda has given Bucky peace, even now, when war is all around them. The people here helped him even though they didn’t have to. They put back together the pieces of Bucky Barnes that Steve couldn’t find and now they’re giving their lives in a war that should’ve never happened. Steve is gonna tear apart anyone, anything who tries to swing at these people, who tries to take more of them than they’ve already lost. He promised T’Challa too, that he might not be Captain America anymore, but he would still be a captain, and sometimes captains do what they don’t want anyone else to do.

 

“Bucky?”

 

His eyes are wide, angry again maybe, because he knows what Steve is going to say.

 

“You have to get out of here.”

 

And then the anger twists and morphs into something else. Something unfamiliar that almost looks like fear. See, Bucky’s anger, he can deal with. He’s been on the receiving end of glares, cold, harsh words too many times to count. He’s heard _no, not without you!_ in dreams and nightmares alike and Bucky was god damn furious then, that Steve would even suggest Bucky escapes without him. It’s not like that now. There’s no furiosity. Fear, he doesn’t know what to do with. Even hanging off the side of that train, there was only determination, determination that failed him, like Steve failed him. Bucky was fearless even when it came to his life. It only makes sense, he supposes, that Bucky wouldn’t be so fearless anymore when it comes to Steve’s life.

 

“That’s not gonna happen.”

 

“You have to.”

 

“No, Steve, I don’t,” He steps forward, arms tense like he’s preparing to fight him on this. He’s terrified and it hurts Steve how much it shows.

 

“I’ve always had your back. Always. I pulled you out of that river years ago, even before I remembered you because I knew, somehow, that it was what I had to do. That it was what I had always done. That hasn’t changed. Not one bit.”

 

Thanos is coming closer, Steve can hear giant footsteps, the chuckle of a monster that’s proud of the wreckage it’s leaving behind. Steve Rogers never went down without a fight, not once, not even when he was fighting his own friends, not even when he knew he was going to lose. He must’ve forgotten, over the years, that Bucky Barnes never went down without a fight either.

 

“Okay. But you stay hidden, be my sniper like the good old days.”

 

Bucky nods. But Steve’s not done yet. He’ll never be done when it comes to Bucky. He has endless strings of words to tell him, decades worth of things he wants Bucky to know but doesn’t know how to say. It comes boiling down to one thing, the thing he was prepared to do even when it was Tony Stark he was protecting Bucky from. He would give it all, his last breath, to make sure Bucky lives.

 

“But promise me, Buck. If he gets me. You have to promise me you’ll run. Don’t be brave, don’t be stupid. If he gets me, then let me-”

 

_die_

 

He doesn't get to say it, because Bucky grabs the collar of his vest and presses his forehead against Steve's so hard it might actually leave a bruise. He leans in closer than he's ever been, and Steve thinks _finally_ . He never realized until now that he's been waiting for this the entire time, in and out of the cold, cold ice but _oh_ he has. And then right when he’s about to lean in, Bucky doesn't kiss him. There's a snarl on his lips, nostrils flared and the anger has returned to his eyes.

 

“I only just got you back. Only just. If you're gonna risk your life, fucking selfless bastard that you are, at least give me the chance to get you out,” His breath hitches and the words start sounding like desperate sobbing.

 

“At least least let me try. I can't let you die without trying. If you ask this of me, I swear to god, Rogers, I will never forgive you. I can damn well promise you _that_.”

 

He does kiss him then. Lips pressed against his harshly, like he’s only just remembering how to do this. A tear runs down from Bucky’s cheek and lands on his own skin and Steve tries really damn hard to keep to himself how much that scares him.

 

“Okay,” He says, fingers in Bucky’s hair. “ _Damn_ you, okay. Just– just please don’t die.” 

 

Bucky smiles, strangely fitting, and a vibranium hand grabs his own. He recalls seeing it for the first time, not even a full day ago and, _fuck_ , he’d had to hold his own tears inside when he’d finally seen for himself how _right_ Bucky looked.

 

“Right back at you, pal.”

 

He was wrong, he thinks, as Bucky tightens his grip on the gun and hides behind the bushes. They _are_ something. They were broken and put together crooked but they made it work. They fought, maybe not always like soldiers, but like they had something to lose.

 

He holds his head up high, determination in his face and when Thanos raises his fist, Steve raises his, teeth bared, a scream forming in his throat from the sheer force of the monster he’s trying to hold back and he almost smiles when he hears a machine gun cocking in the distance.

 

This is what they do, Steve thinks, this is what they have _always_ done.

 

***

He doesn’t regret any of it. Not the breath halting in his lungs and not the blood leaving his veins. Neither does Bucky, when he comes running, _damn him_ , even though Steve told him not to.

 

It makes him smile a last time, Bucky Barnes, still kicking and screaming. He’ll save the whole world one day, because Bucky is the savior. Steve knows it, has seen it. The way it’s supposed to be.

 

In war is where Steve ends, and it’s where Bucky starts _again_.

  



End file.
